From a Parent’s Perspective

By | July 22, 2015
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(Author’s Note: Names have been changed for anonymity purposes)

 More and more I hear about transgender people who have been abandoned by their families, and I just don’t understand it.

Our child was so loved from birth on, and just because Mother Nature chose a different route and gender for this child I can not imagine giving up on Sarah.


When I think of the struggles Sarah must have gone through all those years until coming out, I feel sad, as does my husband Sam. Sarah was his namesake and our oldest son and so it was most difficult to realize that she had been in a struggle for 40+ years and it hard to grasp transgender at first. We always sensed (his) anger and frustration but never knew why.

He is an artist and we blamed right brained-ness, I guess. I still remember the Sunday afternoon Sarah told me over the phone, and I guess at first I just was dumbfounded, but already thinking she was going to tell me she was gay, as she had said earlier in a letter she had something to tell us. I was prepared for that.

Yes, it took awhile to sink in what she was really telling me, but being the bright, intelligent, smart, artistic, good looking and loving son that he was I did not think he had told us the SECRET unless he was sure. No one in his right mind would choose this difficult path, is what we thought.

It has been an eye opening experience for all of us in the family for sure, but we all accepted the decision our son made to become who she was supposed to be. A family letter went out to all, and that was the hardest thing I have ever had to write. My 95 yr. old active Mother was most upset because she was not told “The Secret” until much later. We had kept it from her as Sarah had been her favorite grandson. My sister said “No, do not tell her”. But I did eventually and so she was angry because we kept it from her. She said ” I know all about transgender as I have seen it on Oprah” . Imagine that??????

In the world we live in, everyone wants to fit in and be like everyone else. If at all someone is different due to sex change, gayness, color or whatever ……this person does not fit in. They are not welcomed in normal society, whatever that is. Fear and ignorance are the biggest factors in all of this, and let\\\’s add embarrassment too.

 I am glad that Sarah has found a life with wonderful friends and a family. I think she is happy and full of life and awe and ready to give to the world.

Supportive Parents of “Sarah”, August 2009